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 TCW's Jake Tuber shares the Top 10 signs you might just be partying too hard.
Your parents sent you off to college for an education, and you’re there for the social scene (the degree is just a nice bonus). But there is a fine line between enjoying the college scene and going completely overboard.
10) You Know the Lyrics to “Party Hard” by Andrew W.K.
Great song, great way to get the party started, but the lyrics are about as clear and discernable as your Arabic homework. Sure, when it’s blasting out of the party speakers I ‘sing’ along and act like I know more than the chorus, but if you actually know the lyrics then you party way too hard. Because lets get serious, no one is a die-hard Andrew W.K. fan.
9) Your Beer Can Pyramid is more like a Castle
What started as a fun 'hey-lets-do-this-because-there-are-only-6-people-at-this-party’ activity has now become a new method of recycling. It begins as a regular beeramid, and then it goes 3-D. But once there is a drawbridge spanning over the spilled-beer moat, you’ve got a problem... and a sweet R-rated 6th grade science project.
8) You go over your Monthly Texting Plan…Every Weekend
“R u goin out 2nite?” Forwarded to everyone in your phone.
7) You Can Recite the Weekday Local Bar Specials
Monday- “Wings N’ Things Night” - Free Miller Light with the purchase of 24 wings.
Tuesday- “Import Night” - If you drive an import, Heineken’s are only $12
Wednesday- “Domestic Night” – If you are domestic, Bud Light’s are only $9
Thursday- “90s Night” – If you were born in the 90s, your crappy fake ID will work
Friday- “College Night” – Show your college ID and the cover charge is only $10
6) You Can’t Recite your Weekly Class Schedule
Monday- Ummm.
Tuesday- Two things I think.
Wednesday- Ooo, wait, I know it, wait.
Thursday- Intro to Sociology.
Friday- Dude I haven’t had Friday class since freshman year. Well, I haven’t gone anyway.
5) No Space in the Fridge
You would save money on eating out by cooking if your fridge wasn’t filled with cans of Natural Light. And no, you use wine to cook, cheap beer will not go well with that pasta dish.
4) You Routinely Wake-up Covered in Sharpie
There is probably still a huge penis drawn on your lower back somewhere.
3) You are Missing a Shoe
Since October, and it could be in one of three places, you’re sure of that. Maybe before you leave for the summer you’ll go out looking for it. It’s actually just hidden amidst the covers at the foot of your bed.
2) You Don’t Get IDed Anymore
At the liquor store, at one of the campus bars, when you’re buying beer at the grocery store. Best part is, you’re only 20 years old.
1) You’erp Too Drunmk to Raead Thsi
I L;ikje Youo, but you’erp carawzy.
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